Love Roulette and the NFL

LOVE ROULETTE…some thoughts

Some people are lucky in love, some are not. With the recent revelation of domestic violence in the National Football League a few things came to mind. Having lived through domestic abuse for a decade I have studied it extensively to try to understand- why? - For myself and others. I have a chapbook of poetry about relationships with uncaring guys. Good guys are raised in a climate of respect for women; Abusers are not, is my latest conclusion.

Nicole Browne and O.J. came to mind when this news broke. How long has domestic violence been tolerated by the NFL? Isn’t that a question we should all ask? The next question would be, how are we going to fix it?

Before I married my ex, I was made aware that his father had a history of violence toward his mother. It wasn’t until after my divorce that I started researching and discovered that I had made a naïve choice, indeed. I share the premier poem from my chapbook:

Love Roulette

He held me in a headlock

and spun the chamber of

the antique, old west 45

He put the barrel to

my temple and

whispered fiercely

Say your prayers, bitch!

I froze with shock and terror

A front page flashed on

my mind-screen:

Vietnam Vet shoots

Wife, Child, then Self!

My daughter lay innocently

asleep, down the hall

I had to protest-

The only word that

came out was: Don’t.

It was clear and true

He spun the chamber again

and pulled the trigger

Spin-click

Spin-click

Spin-click

I waited to die, not

remembering to pray

Suddenly, he laid the

pistol down, laughed

and walked out of the room

The next day, I gathered

his arsenal in a quilt and

took it out of the house

I was never in love with him

again, but I stayed

five more years…

G’Day,

Raintree

P.S. Do not judge. It is complicated.