Reflections on a Frayed Friendship

Dear Beacon Rock Oracle,

A friend began sending heated political emails to me a
few weeks ago. She's retired and I am still working.
I do not have time to keep up with all the news and it is
my instinct, when I lack the full facts to reserve judgment.

However, I do have opinions, which I shared, much to
my own dismay because within three or four emails ex-
changed, she burned down a treasured friendship that
began in the 80s. We are now in our 60s.

I am now thinking that I need  to disconnect from any
"friends" who connect with me rarely in person, but
act like we are best buds online. I have come to the
conclusion that we have grown in other directions and
 these communications are the last vestiges of letting go.

In my opinionated opinion, a clean break is less
painful. Especially, when one is being accused and
indeed is innocent.

I did nothing to this woman, but be her friend.
Whatever she is going through personally, was
suddenly puked on me.

 The only thing I can think of is that she is a livid Trump- hater
 and seems tweaked that I don't join her. I refuse to give that
 reprobate my attention/power.

What more could I have done?

Wondering in Vancouver


Dear Wondering in Vancouver:

You could have done nothing more. You are right
on the money with "we have grown in other directions."
It sounds like your retired friend has time on her hands
and maybe didn't plan ahead about how to best enjoy
her retirement.

And I agree, cutting loose from FaceBook and email friendships may
 make you happier in the long run. The less investment,
 the cheaper the product, I always say.

With 7+ billion souls on the planet, I am sure you can find
many new, kinder friends.

Grant should not be taken for Granted

Ulysses S. Grant, Civil War General and
United States President
Born: April 27, 1822
Died: July 23, 1885

The last time I posted I was in the middle of
 reading GRANT by Ron Chernow.
I've been in reading mode the last few months
and have read several satisfying books, however,
Ron Chernow's tome still trumps everything I've
read in years.
At 1,104 pages, GRANT is the best historical
writing this history buff has ever read. Chernow's
biography of GRANT could best be described as
creative non-fiction. It reads like a very good novel
and was a page turner to the end.

Grant was personally slandered and libeled and actually
dismissed as a "drunk" while winning wars and running
the United States as our 18th president, serving two
terms shortly after turning the tide of the Civil War,
being the only general Abraham Lincoln said would
fight. As a result Grant brought the south to its knees
and yet was a total gentleman when he tendered Lee's
surrender. Now that's a class act!

Jealous, lesser men could not accept nor understand
Grant's integrity and unwillingness to succumb to
ordinary ego. Grant was humble to a fault.His presidency
was rumored to be corrupt, when in fact, U.S. Grant
was simply surrounded by corrupt men. He did not
recognize the dark side of others because he himself
was honest and trustworthy. Grant saw the best in
 other human beings. That was his fatal flaw.

A 20 cigar per day habit finally ended Grant's life,
but not before he spent an entire year penning his
memoirs to have a nest egg for his family.
His friend, Mark Twain sold 300,000 subscriptions
and encouraged Grant in his final days. The memoirs
garnered what in today's money would be roughly
8 million dollars--a best seller in any era.

I highly recommend GRANT by Ron Chernow. I am
still reading Ulysses S. Grant's memoir, which is also
a tome.

raintreepoet, reporting.

How about Martin Luther King and Ulysses S. Grant Day, eh?

Today is Martin Luther King Day. We have time off (teachers as well

as others in government positions) to pay homage to Martin Luther King. 

I am white, non-prejudiced, and have carried some shame for what my 

race has perpetuated onto the black race. 

Needless to say, I am an admirer of MLK's leadership and sacrifice to

help his people. In other words, I get why this recognition of MLK is 

important. 

However, as a history buff, I hate when other important figures, in a cause, 

are overlooked. The person I refer to is Ulysses S. Grant- the guy who led 

the northern armies to win the Civil War and free the slaves.

 ( He also served two terms as a U. S. president.) More than that

Ulysses S. Grant gave refuge to thousands of runaway slaves; clothed them,

fed them, protected them and also drafted thousands of them to fight the 

Confederacy, their former masters and subjugators.

As I read GRANT by Ron Chernow, I wonder, "Do black citizens of this

country know what Grant did for them?" 

There is no Ulysses S. Grant Day. He is not included in the celebration of

important presidents. Grant is not one of the faces on Mt. Rushmore. 

Excuse me! Who accomplished more to save our union than Ulysses S Grant?

Who fought harder to free the slaves?

I do wonder if Martin Luther King was aware of who Ulysses S. Grant was

and what he did for the black race. 

Keep reading, folks. GRANT by Ron Chernow would be a good start. 

I honor both MLK and U. S. Grant as the two men most prominent in 

fighting for equality in the United States of America.! 

raintreepoet, ruminating.

Best Fruitcake, according to Ralph

In a chat with red-haired Ralph at Opryland Theme Park ticket booth,
where we were working in December 1995, I shared with him that I
hated fruitcake. Ralph told me that he had a recipe that he was sure
I'd love. I didn't try it until many years later, and Ralph may be making
fruitcake in heaven by now, but he was one wise old Tennessee man.
Here's the recipe, with my healthy updates.

12 oz. light raisins (yellow)
12 oz, dried cherries or cherry cranberries
12 oz. dried apricots, chopped
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (miniature)
1 pound pecans, chopped
1 pound almonds, chopped
2 cups shredded coconut
14.4 oz. chocolate or regular graham crumbs
2  regular sized sacks of marshmallows
1 cup apple or orange juice

In a very large pan, mix all ingredients except juice and marshmallows.
Over heat, melt marshmallows  in the juice and mix well.
Pour over the dry ingredients and mix well. Pack in 5 loaf pans.
(if foil, line with wax paper) or ten mini-pans. Cover with wax paper
lined tinfoil and refrigerate for about 14 days.

Wishing you a joyous holiday season,
Raintreepoet.

In these challenging times "The Little Red Hen" has a message for parents

This contributed by a friend:

The Little Red Hen

When I was a child, my mother taught me to read with the help of a book of fairy tales. We would sit together and work our way through the stories, sounding out the words, syllable by syllable. (This was in the era before pre-K programs, Sesame Street, and educational apps.) All that was required was a mother with time and a book from the library. By using this simple, time-tested method, both of my sisters and I were taught to read before we entered the first grade.

In addition to helping us to learn the English language, the stories often imparted a moral lesson. As we read the stories, we also discovered something about how society expected us to behave.

One of the most powerful moral lessons is found in the tale of The Little Red Hen. As young children like animals, this story is set in a barnyard, and the protagonist was a little red hen. One day the little red hen finds some wheat seeds. She explains to her three barnyard companions (a lazy dog, a sleepy cat, and a noisy yellow duck) that with the seeds, they can make bread. She then asks, "Who will help me plant the seeds?" They all reply, "Not I." She then proceeds to plant the seeds herself.

When the wheat is ready for harvesting, she again asks her friends, "Who will help me reap the wheat?" Once again, they all say, "Not I". At each step in the process (milling the wheat, making the dough, and baking the bread), she repeatedly asks if they would help, and they consistently refuse to offer any assistance.

Finally, the bread is baked, and the little red hen wearily turns to her friends and asks, "Who will help me eat the bread?", to which they all enthusiastically cry, "We will!"

When my mother and I first read the story together, she closed the book at this point and asked me what should happen next in the story.

"The little red hen should eat the bread herself."

"But what about her friends? They want some of the bread too."

"They didn't help her make it! They shouldn't get any of it!"

My response to the story was similar to that of most children and that of the little red hen, who responds rhetorically to her question, "I will!"

It is very interesting that, after twelve or more years of education, most people's response to the story's moral message becomes much more ambiguous. Their indigent, childhood declaration of "You don't work, you don't eat!" becomes "Well, there is enough bread for everyone ... right?"

What in their education has subverted their earlier moral sense?

The answer is simply that they have succumbed to an intellectual con game: their teachers, books, etc. have told them that the lazy dog, sleepy cat, and noisy yellow duck are merely victims of circumstances beyond their control; through no fault of their own, they cannot provide for themselves, and it is the moral obligation of the little red hens to feed them.

Some time after I learned to read and before it was time to teach my own children to read, such books of folk tales largely disappeared. They were replaced by Dr. Seuss, books of gibberish completely devoid of any moral content, or the Children's Television Workshop, which taught my kids to ask Santa for a Tickle Me Elmo.

Is it at all surprising that children today possess no moral compass? Most busy parents have largely delegated the teaching of morality to the schools, and the schools have either avoided the teaching of any moral message out of fear of offending someone or more often promulgated a philosophy of self-sacrifice.

In an adult barnyard story (George Orwell's Animal Farm), one of the first acts of the revolutionaries is to relieve the parents of the burden of their children's education. Later in the story the parents are horrified to discover what their children have become.

At a time of frenzied concern about the epidemic of school shootings, maybe it is time for parents to ask themselves, "Who will help educate my child?", they need to answer, "I will!

Grant Merrill

January 29, 2013

(696 word)

Me, too!

I don't twitter, so this will have to do. I was forced out
of a radio career by a predatory boss.
I was beginning at my first commercial station, K---,
after one  year of training on college radio. The station manager
was so friendly and welcoming that when I was asked to
lunch my first week, I thought it was business. When he
was flirty with me, I assumed that it was his friendly way
of making me comfortable in my new disc jockey job.
When he called when I was on the air, I thought it may be
his way of monitoring an employee.
When he asked me to ride on a wagon beside him in a parade
I thought it was part of the job. I smiled my biggest and waved
wildly to give a friendly impression of our station.
One day he asked me if I'd ever been to a rodeo. He knew
from our lunch conversation that  I had divorced a rodeo cowboy.
He added that he had tickets to a PRCA (Professional Rodeo
Cowboys Assn.) Rodeo in the KingDome, which was in Seattle.
He asked if I would like to go. At the time, I thought that if I
I turned him down, I would jeopardize my new job which I loved.
So, I said, yes.
A few days later, he came into my booth and said how much he
was looking forward to enjoying the rodeo (a night event, 70 miles
north) with me. I got a chill. It wasn't until that moment that I
realized that my manager had much more in mind. Was it tone?
The way he looked at me? I don't know. What I did sense is that
he viewed me as a tastey morsel and it would be foolish to ride
alone with him to a distant city.
I was so stunned and mortified that I could not tell him in the
moment that I had changed my mind about going with him to
 the rodeo. I waited until I was safely at home, called and left
 a message, begging off with some awkward excuse that even
sounded like an excuse to me. He  did not return that call.
 He waited like a mean old stinking tomcat for the right time
 to pounce on his silly little D.J. mouse.
My next shift was Sunday morning. I was to open the station
at 5:30 a.m. The lights were on at 5 a.m. and Tom, a long time
disc jockey for the station was prepping to go on the air. He told
me the bad news: You have been written out of the schedule. He
wagged his finger at me, teasingly. I said, It's not funny.
I was so upset, Tom, the D.J. said: If it was me, I'd call the prick
right now and give him a piece of my mind.
He sounded sincere and sympathetic. He dialed and handed me
the receiver into which I yelled: John, you can take the station
tower and stick it where the sun don't shine! I smiled, satisfied.
Tom snickered as he hung up.
Later, I was told that radio is a blackball industry and if I made
any fuss, I could forget a career in radio. I loved being a D.J.
and  I never worked in radio again.

It can and does happen to women every day in every field. Let's
stop it now.

raintreepoet, protesting.

Is Anybody else Sick of online Marketing Surveys?

From: "Scarborough Research" <Scarborough_Research@surveysavvy.com>
To: me
Sent: Friday, September 15, 2017 10:25:19 AM
Subject: Scarborough partners with Nielsen - participate in the online usage study

To Scarborough Research Survey:

Changed my mind. Please take me off your list.

The deeper I got in, I realized that it is a targeted marketing study.

I am cutting back on my consumerism, consciously.

I don't like that others on the planet lack food and clean water.

 It hurts my conscience.

I may not be able to help them, because I have limited means, 

but I can learn to do with less in solidarity.

I am grateful to have ample food and clean water. 

I pray that we human beings start taking care of each other globally.

Perhaps that would alleviate the jealousy of terrorists...

Don't get me wrong, I love America, Land of the free, home of the Brave.

 I am proud to be an American and feel lucky to have been born

here!

Of course there are things I don't like about us and consumerism

is the main one. Do we really need all this stuff?

I learned early on the difference between want and need and

too often want turns to greed. And frankly other people starving

bothers the heck outta me.

I started to notice as a kid all the fuss about helping the poor at Christmas.

I remember wondering who was helping the poor the rest of the year.

I am not headed any particular direction with this except to say I hope

when you are paying $1000. for your Apple 10, just because you can,

you remember that it is a want, not a need. I really hope you think about 

that! The buck stops with you.

raintreepoet, pondering.

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