Had
the weirdest dream last night: The red rogue elephants and the not so true blue
jackasses were in a mosh pit at a Doors concert and they fought and tore at each
other like mad dogs to get to Jim Morrison on the stage. There was lots of
growling and snarling, but no biting because they saw the surveillance cameras
upon arrival and they knew how to preserve their fine reputations. Biting was
for off camera only.
The
scene shifted to a ginormous boob tube (television screen- for Millennials who
may not recognize the term) Zombie candidates spun heinous lies about each
other, blood and pus drooling down their chests. Bart Simpson, who was viewing
from his couch, dropped his pizza in disgust and screamed, “Dad! Come and look
at this!”
Homer in the next room, hollered back, “Forgeddaboutit,
son, I’ve seen it all before.” Then he yawned the boredom yawn.
Bart
couldn’t let it go, “Isn’t it libel or slander or something illegal?”
Homer
replied, “Freedom of Speech, son, simply Freedom of Speech,” and he went back
to reading his newspaper.
Bart
rushed at him, clearly upset, “But Dad, there are laws about Truth in
Advertising, aren’t there? How can these politicians misrepresent themselves
and not get into big trouble?”
Homer
looked up from his paper, “Son, don’t be naive! These folks write the laws, so that
nobody but they can understand the law. We, the American public, pay them a
butt load of money and their friends are mostly lawyers, too, so they all get
diplomatic immunity because sharks don’t eat their own kind, so they can misrepresent themselves all day long and
night time, too; they are untouchable.”
The
screen cut back to the mosh pit. The blue jackasses and the red elephants
rushed the stage.
Jim
Morrison pulled out his favorite tool-it was the size of a fire hose. He
sprayed them back and forth in big swoops, thoroughly. The moshers fell to the
floor moaning and writhing
like serpents in a snake pit.
And
on that note, I’ll sign off. Gotta go vote!
